Jimmy Boy and Fame

In 1996 Jim Carey was quoted as saying: “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”
I went on the Bachelor Canada to find a wife in a kind of an online-dating-on-steroids scenario. But a side effect is that in recent months I’ve had the fortune to become a Canadian D-list celebrity. And it’ll likely last for all of a few months. But I say ‘fortunately’, not because I’ve enjoyed some recognition, but because five minutes ago I let a little girl, who really looked like she needed to pee, go in front of me in the bathroom line.
When someone gets recognized from being on TV, they’re privy to a sense of belonging, acceptance and validation of self worth, that only popularity can bring. Humans crave this. It’s why everybody just wants to be the popular kid in high school (but hey, maybe you didn’t and in that case, by god good for you). Think of it like an emotional high.
But this kind of emotional high is fleeting and relative to what the person has had before. And once they have 1000 ‘likes’ on an instgram photo, 1000 ‘likes’ doesn’t give the emotional high the first one did. They need 2000 or probably more really..
I don’t know why, and maybe someone can enlighten me, but humans get ‘high’ on this attention and it’s addictive the same way drugs are. The worst part is that we acclimatize to it very quickly and need more the next time for the same level of excitement and ‘high’.
But it’s the things you’ve heard of all your life that really make you sustainably happy that aren’t relative. Being a good person doesn’t require you to be an exponentially better person the next day. It’s a very different kind of positive emotion. Letting the little girl who really looks like she needs to pee go first, even though you’ve just had a beer, will always make you a nice person. And that feeling is sustainable. It will make you happy forever. And the reason is because you are happy with yourself. You are happy with who you are as a person.
I’m incredibly fortunate to have had a taste of fame that makes people happy in such an unsustainable way. It’s made me appreciate the sustainable side and really know how powerful it is.
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13 Comments

Filed under All posts, Thoughts, studies and science

13 responses to “Jimmy Boy and Fame

  1. I’m going to have to check out the show, Tim. As an G-list celebrity, I can tell you, sometimes it’s world-wearying. 🙂 Also, congratulations. On your business, on the show, and all else between.

    Peace,

    Shane

  2. Kathy

    To quote Timothy Keller…” To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.” Cheers to your perspective and finding true happiness.

    Kathy

  3. Bravo 🙂 Humble and kind!

  4. Candace

    I was a geek growing up in Milton, who always wanted to become popular, than unfortunetly I became very popular due to certain friends, and then I wondered why on God’s Green Earth did I ever want this life.
    It wasn’t until I met my husband and became a Mother that I finally realised what it feels like to be on top of the world. Money and Fame can make you happy for only a short time, but love if you truly want it can last for a lifetime.
    P.S. Congratulations on your success. Very happy to hear you are enjoying your success and fame, but also not forgetting about the important things in life like love and respect. GOD BLESS

  5. Carolyn

    Greetings from Illinois in the USA. I started watching your season via YouTube and have been impressed by your character. I like what you wrote. Best wishes to you.

  6. E

    It’s always an interesting thing when as humans we seek validation and a sense of worth in things “external” to ourselves (these external things being celebrity/social recognition in this example.) It is never enough, because it’s not founded in truth in most cases. It’s not lasting, because it’s not real. If you stand objectively, it becomes apparent that fame is a reflection of our societal conditioning. It is propagated on uplifting people who maintain the structure, not those who challenge the purpose of it. We too easily overlook people who are truly change makers in the world (because they call us to reflect on our own selves, which is a hard and uncomfortable thing to do.) All you can do if be aware of what real contentment looks like without any validation, and try like hell to fight for that.

  7. Before I start, I want to thank you for giving me the hope that there are still intellectually stimulating men out there like you. At age 27, I’m starting to believe this is only found in fairy tales.
    Second of all, this article hit me like a ton of bricks. I occasionally find myself falling victim to seeking self validation through my peers whether through social media or social gatherings. Subconsciously.
    Truly, it is our interactions and kindness towards others that leave the “feel good” feeling for both parties involved. And it lasts longer than 1000 likes on Instagram for sure.
    Thanks again for sharing! Can’t wait to read more entries. If you can also show the guys here in Vancouver a thing or two, that would be great 😉
    From,
    A big fan from the Westcoast aka Best Coast

  8. Linda

    Hey Tim – I’ve just been reading some of your blogs (you got on my radar because of the show – which by the way I’ll just put in my 2 cents: are any of those women bright enough for you?). I concur with your thoughts about feeling sustainable happiness..my job as a teacher provides me with such satisfaction and happiness because I get to impact the lives of those kids I have the privilege of teaching. Happiness stems from connections we make and we give. I appreciate your blogs because it’s always nice to see people who are curious and open to understanding the world around them and who strive to make positive change in the world – keep on track. (and best wishes for your search for love!)

  9. Beautiful and very wise. It looks like you enjoyed your “15 minutes of fame” and are content to see it end. A lot of people dream of being rich and famous and never get there. Others attain wealth and fame only to find, as you said, that it’s like a drug and it’s never enough. They still feel this black hole of need that can never be filled and sadly many of them go the Marilyn Monroe route — substance abuse, depression, suicide. To the world they seem to have it all but they feel empty inside. The key to happiness really is to love yourself and be at peace with yourself. That is worth far more than any celebrity or money could bring.

    You are a beautiful person inside and out. Glad I caught a glimpse of you on the show and found your blog here. You give me hope that men like you are still out there.

    Cheers,
    Ann Marie

  10. BECKY

    This is your opportunity to shine, but don’t lose yourself in the process. You have more to offer than you can possibly imagine. Keep your head up and don’t ever stop believing. All the best, Cheers BECKY

  11. Lou Ricard

    Great humble canadian boy!

  12. Dawn Charpentier

    As a 50 year old ..mother of 24 ur girl and 26 year old boy. ..and very happily married for 27 years..I would like to say. Your words here just nailed it perfectly…you have answered a lot of questions ..that I feel I have offered and instilled into my kids. ..way to go!!! Love your thoughts!!!
    And great pic on the gal too….fame for a bit..bit now its real life..enjoy..and be happy…

  13. Sab

    People want to be rich and famous, because we associate it with feelings that seem unattainable otherwise…when in fact it’s just that, a fleeting and unsustainable illusion. We do it because it’s an easy way to remove responsibility from ourselves and place it on something else… “I am not happy because I’m broke”…”I’m broke therefore I cannot be happy”. So being happy is not in your control, it’s in the control of external factors which may or may not work in your favour. This makes you vulnerable because the things that make you happy are far too dynamic and therefore difficult to pinpoint exactly. Even when you have money and realize you’re still not happy, you think, “it must be because I don’t have enough money…I need more” and so the cycle continues and you constantly obsess over wanting more and more to reach something that ultimately…you’ll never find there. (Note you can replace money by any other material item that people associate with happiness).

    In reality, we are responsible for synthesizing our own happiness, success and wealth, however we may choose to quantify those things. It’s only when we accept responsibility and realize that we are entirely in control of our emotions (how we feel from one moment to the next…all of which add up to make our life), that we truly begin to feel the joys of life in a very sustainable way!

    From a 28 year old gal who’s lived a little 😉

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