People yell at you. People cut you off. People run into you. People put gum on the ground and then you step in it. People steal from you. People are purposefully mean to you.
People piss you off. People belittle you. People annoy you. People make you angry. People stress you out.
But to put it another way, people make ya feel bad. People decrease your happiness.
But this kills me.
Whenever someone does something to hurt me, they’ve either done it intentionally or unintentionally.
If they’ve done it unintentionally, then there’s nothing one can do. One’s only option is to either have the negative emotions, or if they can, just let go. They have to understand that feeling bad/unhappy isn’t going to help the situation at all, so there’s no point feeling that way. Decide to feel differently.
But what about the people who are intentionally screwin’ with ya. Wouldn’t anger serve a purpose then? Maybe it’ll get them to stop. But wait, what if it’s gum? What if you’re never going to see that person… Ok, well what if it’s the dude who cut you off? Sure you may never drive next to him again, but getting mad at him might make it so he never cuts anyone else off.
But then you’ve still got rage pumping through your blood stream… and that’s no fun (we’ll get back to this).
For a moment, let’s take a step back… Why do any of these people do these things? Let us count the reasons… maybe they’re selfish, hurt by someone else, stressed out or in any number of terrible states.
The most basal reason for people being negative to you is that they feel socially threatened. They show anger or malignity out of a deep weakness or need to feel/look better than you. It’s an evolved need that humans have: to be or feel better than their mate competition. And when that need is threatened, they act out.
Now by god, how can I be mad at someone like that? I just feel bad. A person in that threatened state can never be consistently happy… Sure they might experience an initial thrust of joy at seeing you down. But how sad is that? I can only hope these people realize that momentarily gaining a social (seemingly) upper hand, will never make them consistently happy.
Seen from this social/evolutionary angle, how can you ever be mad at people?
Now what about anger being a tool to make people stop. Well personally I hate feeling angry. I used to like it, but when I realized I actually liked being angry, I hated liking that I liked being angry. Read that one carefully. Most people have no idea that they actually enjoy being angry.
But the point of the anger is to make the person stop, right? Well what might make them stop more effectively? How about showing that you feel bad for them that they’re so angry. Have you ever communicated that when someone is angry? Try it… you’ll think about their reaction for days, it’s one of the weirder things I’ve seen. They just stare at you blankly, wondering why the situation isn’t escalating, then do any number of things out of confusion.
And the way I figure it, if more people were that way, the angry people would get “their” way more and more and maybe one day they’d see that getting their way only makes them temporarily happy and maybe it’s something else that needs to change to achieve consistent happiness.
Just trying to stop negative shiz-nat from ever flowin’ through my booty.